


The King's Uncertainty (Thor x asgardian!reader)

by DomesticatedTendencies



Series: A Queen Protects Her King [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Anxiety Attacks, Asgardian Culture (Marvel), Asgardian Reader (Marvel), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnant Reader, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, The Avengers (mentioned) - Freeform, The Warriors Three (mentioned), Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 22:16:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DomesticatedTendencies/pseuds/DomesticatedTendencies
Summary: “Care to tell me what exactly His Majesty’s problem is of late?” Loki asked once the serving maid was well outside of hearing range.“I do not care to tell you a damned thing,” You answered over the rim of your glass, your tone light as you watched the room. “Besides there is nothing to tell. Everything is fine.”“Then you’re as blind as you are foolish.”Your head snapped up as the crowded dining hall erupted in applause. The nights entertainment was making their way through the doors, fire breathers or some such silliness but at the moment your focus was pinned solely on the prince with his damnable tongue. Your cheeks were ablaze as your eyes locked with his in challenge.“How dare you,” You hissed.





	The King's Uncertainty (Thor x asgardian!reader)

**Author's Note:**

> There is a brief depiction of an anxiety attack towards the middle of this chapter.

You lay your side, a pillow supporting your stomach and leg thrown over Thor’s hip. He rested with his head cradled in the crook of his elbow, tracing lazy designs across your bare belly with the tip of a finger. It was hot, verging on stifling, as a fire blazed in the hearth and the midday sun glowed orange outside the closed windows but as your husband made no attempt to move, neither did you. His eyes closed, he appeared for once almost peaceful and so despite the heat and the fact that you knew him to have at least half a dozen duties to attend to, you let him be.

It had been two weeks since his return and yet there were times he still seemed a galaxy away. He behaved just as he always had. He listened to the reports from his council and saw to the matters brought before him in the order of importance. He took his meals in the great hall, sitting at the head table and laughing at the exaggerated tales told by his fellow warriors, even offering a few of his own as he ate his fill and drank even more. He even made love to you as he had before. His kiss and touch very much as you remembered, his whispered words of praise and devotion the same, and yet it was different. He was different. The desperate way he clung to you as though you might slip away. The faraway look he sometimes got in his eyes when he thought no one to be paying attention. The nights he barely slept followed by mornings where you had to do everything short of beg to get him out of bed. He did not want to talk about whatever troubled him and you refused to pry but the man who returned to you was not the same that had left and at times you worried he never would be again.

  
With your leg hooked around his, you ran your heel across the back of his down covered thigh eliciting from him a gentle hum. His lips turning up slightly in the corners, he blinked open his mismatched eyes. He looked tired, and not in the way that sleep could help either.

  
You smiled the biggest most sincere smile you could possibly manage. “I love you.”

  
“And I, you,” He returned, his voice low and throaty. 

Running your fingers through his hair, you scooted up the bed in order to press a kiss to his lips. “Tell me what to do for you,” You whispered softly.

  
He pulled back but only slightly. His brow furrowing, for a moment he looked to consider your words and you were hopeful that this time he might actually have a response. You would do anything – anything at all. He only need to ask.

  
“You’re already doing it.”

  
You’re heart sinking, you smiled. “Well, alright then.”

Shifting his weight, he propped his head up on his hand so that he looked down at you. The pins had come free from your hair and it would take considerable time to right them before you returned to the day but for now Thor tucked a loose strand behind your ear, his fingers lingering at the curve of your jaw.

  
“I should be the one asking what it is I can do for you.”

  
You turned to kiss his callused palm. “You’re here. I could think of nothing more that I could want or need.”

  
His own body heat contributing greatly to the temperature of the bed, there was a rush of cool air as he sat up and you were left scrambling for the sheet.

  
“Truly, there is nothing?” He looked like such a boy in his uncertainty.

  
“Truly.”

  
“You’ve been to the healers? They say all is well?” There was an urgency in his question – a sudden need for assurance that you must fulfill.

  
“Yes, my love. You know just as well as they do that everything is fine.”

  
“With the babe, yes,” He answered seriously, hesitant to meet your eyes. “I don’t have the same insight when it comes to you.”

  
His concern overwhelming, you had to blink back the sudden prick of tears as you forced another pacifying smile. “I am fine, I promise.”

  
His head dipped in a nod. “Good.”

  
Watching him, you bit your lip. Everyone knew Thor was handsome. For centuries he had been fawned over and envied for his chiseled good looks. There were scores of sonnets written for his rakish grin alone. But you wondered if anyone had ever noticed how truly beautiful he was. Not effeminately so, of course not. But there was a softness that you only ever saw in the intimacy of your own bedroom.

  
Odin’s beard, you would do anything for him.

  
“There is one thing you could do,” You chanced. Rolling onto your back, you lift your hips in a tiny thrust. Watching you, his left brow arched in amusement. His deep chuckle alone was worth it.

  
“Again so soon?” He questioned, not even hesitating as he rolled to his knees between your legs.

  
“Please.” You even punctuated it with a playful little pout.

  
The sheets tenting over your raised knees, he wrested them away with one swift pull. Despite the many changes to your form you did not shy away. Completely bare before him, he looked at you like a starving man at a feast. There was no doubt in your mind that as beautiful as you found your husband to be he thought you equally so.

  
His rough hands were as soft as silk as he slid them down your thighs, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in his wake. You gasped when he took hold of your hips. And when he slowly began to knead the tight muscles the moan that bubbled in your throat was positively obscene.

  
Perhaps Loki wasn't the only one to inherit Frigga's gifts. Thor's fingers were like magic, carefully working the ache from your hips.

  
“You know this always leads to something more,” He rumbled after several minutes.

  
Your eyes closing, you gave a contented sigh. “I know.”

* * *

  
The excitement in the great hall was palpable. Dinner had been exceptionally grand and there was rumor about the nights entertainment. Wine was being poured and servants carried about trays of sweets should anyone still possess an appetite. Children zigzagged between the tables in a rollicking game of tag and even you giggled from your seat at the high table as one unfortunate youngster cried out in protest when caught not by his friend but his scolding mother.

  
His chin upon his fist, Thor sat quietly to your left. He attempted to smile whenever you looked his way, occasionally offering a small comment about this or that but there was something slightly off about his timing and his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. You thought Loki must have noticed it too because more than once you caught him giving his brother a peculiar look.

  
Leaning in, you touched upon Thor’s bouncing knee.  
“Shall we retire, my lord?”

  
“No, no. It’s early yet.” His voice casual, beneath the table he was squeezing your fingers to the point of inflicting pain. “Besides, I hear tonight’s performers are unrivaled at their craft. We wouldn’t want to miss the show.”

  
“Of course not, my lord,” You agreed, sitting back as his knee took up bouncing again.

  
Behind his back, you and Loki exchanged a glance. The mischief maker’s icy blue eyes narrowed in subtle perplexity before returning to his dessert.

  
“Brother did I mention that just this morning I was speaking with Ignemur and he claims to have bested you recently at arm wrestling.” Loki dabbed at his mouth with a napkin, looking very much like the cat with the canary.

  
Thor's eyes flashed. “What? Like hell he bested me! Where is that lying bastard?”

  
You frowned in disapproval. As the berserker stormed off in search of the unsuspecting Ignemur, Loki slid into his vacated seat.

  
“Now what did you go and do that for?”

  
Loki lifted a careless shoulder. “I got him to stop fidgeting in his seat like a petulant child, didn’t I? Perhaps you should take note.”

  
A maid stopping to fill you water challis, Loki simpered in the seat beside you while you were forced to bite back your sharp retort.

  
“Care to tell me what exactly His Majesty’s problem is of late?” He asked once the serving maid was well outside of hearing range.

  
“I do not care to tell you a damned thing,” You answered over the rim of your glass, your tone light as you watched the room. “Besides there is nothing to tell. Everything is fine.”

  
“Then you’re as blind as you are foolish.”

  
Your head snapped up as the crowded dining hall erupted in applause. The nights entertainment was making their way through the doors, fire breathers or some such silliness but at the moment your focus was pinned solely on the prince with his damnable tongue. Your cheeks were ablaze as your eyes locked with his in challenge.

  
“How dare you,” You hissed. “I would remind you-.”

  
You found your words cut off by the activity in the room. There was a collective ‘Ooh’ with the first burst of flame from the performers followed by a sudden commotion. A table was flipped over sending stoneware and food flying. Benches scraped against the floor as they were pushed back and somewhere a woman screamed. There was a melee of men in the center of the hall, the distinct grunts and shouts of a fight, and in the midst of it all standing half a head taller than any challenger, was the king of Asgard holding one of the costumed fire breathers by the throat.

  
Eyes wide, you pushed up to your feet. How a silly performer could have possibly earned the wrath of the king was beyond you, but Thor had that look in his eyes - wild and out of control. It was dangerous, and not just for the man he had by the throat.

  
Loki snatched you by the wrist as you picked up your skirts. “Just where do you think you’re going? Let the men handle this.”

  
“When I want your council, I will ask for it,” You snapped, yanking free of his grasp.

  
“It’s not wise in your condition!”

  
You hesitated. Since when was Loki the voice of reason?

  
“He’s my husband,” You told him decidedly, again making to move around the table.

  
“Wait. Just wait.” His cool fingers gripped your elbow while his breath warmed your ear. “Look, whatever it was, it has been squashed. To involve yourself now would only cause a further scene.”

  
Sure enough Thor had released the man. You could hear the reverberation of his voice as he offered an apology and the upturned table was already being righted. Whatever the scuffle had been about, it ended just as quickly as it had begun.

  
“Sit down, m’lady,” Loki hissed.

  
But you couldn't. Stunned as you were you could not take your eyes off of Thor. Never in your life could you have imagined him looking so unsure of himself. Standing in the middle of the great hall he appeared lost and worse yet, shaken. Suddenly, as the entertainers regrouped the golden god made for the door.

  
Watching his brother depart, somehow Loki knew your mind. “Let him go.”

  
“I-I can’t,” You whispered for fear your voice would betray too much. “He’s my husband.”

  
His hand still on your elbow, you looked up to find Loki still watching the direction Thor had left in. The muscle just beneath his ear flexed and he looked down at you with something like pity in his cool blue eyes. “Go on then,” He nodded, a sad smile of encouragement fleeting across his face.

  
As quick as you could you sidestepped around the table and chairs and slipped unnoticed out the side door into the cold night air, your thin gown doing little to protect you from the winters chill. On instinct you heading away from the lights and sounds of the party, towards the frost covered garden where the grass crunched beneath your shoes. Sure enough you found him pacing between the flower beds, muttering to himself about smoke and flames.

  
“Thor,” You interrupted, hugging yourself for warmth.

His back to you, he at least stopped his pacing. Steam coming off his bare arms, his breath came in heavy pants. “You shouldn’t be out here,” He said darkly.

  
“Neither should you.” It was all you could think to say. “Please, elskede. Please, let me help. Just tell me -.”

He whipped around to face you. “Tell you? What would you have me tell you, m’lady? Hmm? Shall I regale you with tales of rape and death? Describe for you the stench of rotting flesh? There was a boy we found not five years old. Shall I tell you of how we found his mother dead at least a week with her infant daughter still trying to suckle at her breast?”

Wide eyed, you spoke past the bile that threatened in the back of your throat. “If it helps, my lord.”

He shut his eyes, his face a tight grimace of suffering. “Forgive me, min kjære. I should not…”

“It’s alright.” You were quick to forgive, even if you did not fully understand.

  
“This has never happened before. In all my years I’ve never….” His arms limp at his sides, he shrugged helplessly as he shook his head. “So many depend on me now. These thoughts that plague me… I’m afraid I don’t know how to make them stop.”

  
“Perhaps it takes time.”

  
“Time is not something I have a lot of these days,” He chanced to meet your eyes for the first time. “I am king.”

  
“And I am your queen,” You announced, stepping towards him. “If you need time, I shall make sure you have it and whatever else you might need. We will figure this out, Thor, I promise.”

  
With a groan that was more man than king, he gathered you into his arms. His body heat was a welcomed comfort that you gratefully accepted. After planting a chaste kiss atop your crown, he rested his chin there.

  
“How the Norns smiled the day I chanced upon you,” He sighed.

  
And it filled you with such warmth that you no longer cared about the cold.

* * *

  
The place library. Where one might spend their entire life and not even scratch the surface of all the knowledge that it stored. Books of every conceivable theme and concept filled the shelves to brimming. Histories and sciences, philosophies and theologies from every realm. Ancient texts, some older than time itself and modern works as well. There was even an extensive collection of Midgardian fiction and flimsy picture books bound in glossy paper that Thor called “comics”. Some scholars had been known to disappear for days within the hallowed walls, foregoing food and sleep in their quest for knowledge though one could hardly blame them. No matter the season a fire burned in the great stone hearth yet the temperature was always perfect and the lighting just right. Tuffets were set about in the aisles should readers grow weary while they perused the racks or else there were plenty of nooks to get lost in. And it was quiet. Blissfully, peacefully, quiet. You relished in the calm. It greeted you like an old friend. The only real sound was the pop and crackle of the fire in the hearth and the soft rustle of old parchment.

  
Tucked away in your favorite alcove with a stack of your books companionably at your side, it was here that Thor found you thoroughly absorbed in the adventures of a Midgardian called Bruce Wayne.  
He climbed over you on the settee, pausing to kiss your stomach before laying his head upon your breast. Adjusting so that your arm was around him, you began to rub his head as you continued to read. Selfish as it was, you were really starting to enjoy these moments when he sought you out for no other reason than to take respite from his day.

  
Not much had changed in the days following the incident in the great hall except perhaps a new level of intimacy between the two of you. You were trying harder than ever before to understand and anticipate his needs. You were not sure how helpful it was but at least now on the nights he could not sleep he allowed you to sit up with him.

  
Putting the picture book to the side so that you could wrap your other arm around him as well, you settled back against the cushions. “So this Bruce Wayne possesses no extra abilities whatsoever for a Midgardian?”

  
“He’s wealthy,” Thor offered. “On Midgard that accounts for quite a lot.”

  
You nodded, slowly. After everything he had told you of Midgard you thought it must truly be a strange and fascinating place.

  
“Of course he does possess knowledge and the skill to do battle. The technology,” He continued thoughtfully. “Now that I think of it, he’s a lot like my friend Tony Stark. You would like Tony.”

  
You hummed not necessarily in agreement but more to assure him that you were listening.

  
Lifting his head, he looked up at you. “We should go.”

“Go were, my love?”

  
“To Earth,” He announced. Sitting up on the couch, he repositioned your legs to lay over his, looking suddenly very excited. “You would love it! And Banner! Banner is there and you like him. Steve and Natasha. Clint! Remember, I told you of how we stayed once at his family home. His young daughter braided my hair.”

  
You blinked, unsure of how exactly the idea of travelling to Midgard had come up. “Yes, I remember but when you say ‘we should go’ you can’t possibly mean…?”

  
“Us. Me and you. Think of it, min kjære. No court, no banquets or maids constantly about. We would be free to come and go as we please, just me and you. We could stay at Avengers Tower. My quarters there are near as grand as they are here.”

  
“Yes, I’m sure they are but Thor, we can’t just leave Asgard. This is our home.”

  
You hated the way his face fell and hated yourself even more for knowing you had caused it but what he was proposing was madness.

  
“I know it is. It always will be,” He agreed, that boyish look of uncertainty coming over his face once more. He looked up at you from beneath down turned lashes. “I just thought perhaps we might enjoy a short holiday.”

  
Odin's beard, that face. You would give anything – anything at all – if only he would stop looking at you like that.

  
“Perhaps…” You started, mulling it over.

  
His face lit up. It occurred to you quite suddenly that maybe he needed this. That maybe it was about more than a holiday or escaping the demands of court. He had friends on Midgard – brothers (and sisters) at arms. Before, whenever he had returned from battle he had always had the Warriors Three, but they were gone now and perhaps therein lied the problem. Perhaps he needed the Avengers. Perhaps they would understand his lament and offer the key to his healing. Perhaps they could help him in ways you could not.

  
Your husband was staring at you, waiting for an answer. You could have easily said no. Offered a dozen reasons why you should not go but as he looked at you with hope in his eyes, you couldn’t think of a single one.

  
“What would I need to pack?”

**Author's Note:**

> This story will soon be coming to an end. I am so appreciative of each and every reader! I have never had another work with such dedicated and loving fans.
> 
> Comment, kudo, subscribe!
> 
> <3 K
> 
> P.S. I've recently been asked to clarify about Thor's mention of rape. In the scene when he asks the reader if he shake regale her with tales of rape and death, he is not admitting to his or his mens involvement in rape, he is saying his witnessed rape and death and it has had a deeply profound effect on him as we see in this chapter. I am so sorry if that was not clear.


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